For many men, separation isn't just the end of a relationship. It's the end of an identity. One day you're someone's husband. The next you're learning how to introduce yourself as a single man again. You may be grieving the future you imagined, questioning your worth, wondering what comes next, and quietly carrying emotions you've never had to name before. If this is you, I'd like you to know something. You're not alone.

Many people spend weeks thinking about their first session with a Dominatrix. Very few spend time thinking about what happens afterwards. Yet some of the most valuable discoveries occur once the session has ended. When the intensity subsides and everyday life returns, your mind often begins making sense of what you've experienced. This is completely normal. There is no "correct" reaction.

People often ask whether they should be nervous before meeting a Dominatrix. My answer is almost always the same.A few butterflies are completely normal. Most clients tell me those nerves disappear soon they realise they're in a calm, welcoming and professional environment. And the even better news is that there are a few simple things you can do beforehand that will help you arrive feeling grounded and ready for whatever we create together.

One of the greatest gifts a submissive can bring to a Dominant isn't experience. It's self-awareness.

You don't need to know every BDSM acronym, own a toy bag or have been to a dungeon or kink party before booking with me. In fact, many of my clients are exploring power exchange for the very first time. What matters far more is a willingness to become curious about yourself.

There is a moment that happens surprisingly often when someone enquires about booking a kink session. A client chats with Madam Mary about seeing a dominatrix. They're curious about BDSM, dominance, or a fantasy they've quietly carried for years. As the conversation unfolds, Mary gently asks a few more questions. There is usually a pause and then: "I'm not actually sure what I'm looking for." It's one of the best answers she can hear.

f you've ever found yourself curious about kink, chances are you've also wondered where people actually begin. It's easy to assume your first step should be signing up to FetLife, attending a kink party or visiting a sex club. The good news is that there is a different path. A private conversation and session with a professional who can guide you discretely and meet you where you’re at.

One of my favourite sessions is welcoming couples who want to explore the art of sensual touch together. Not from a book or a YouTube video - but in the flesh. We explore slowing down, creating anticipation, using different types of touch, breathing together, reading each other's responses and discovering how touch can become deeply sensual.

I (Sabine) want to introduce you to Mistress Devine. We know each other intimately - we are each a side of the same coin. Mistress Devine will dominate my journal from time to time for those interested in understanding the beauty and erotic potential in a D/s power dynamic. To book Mistress Devine visit The MM Club website. Madam Mary will facilitate your booking, which Mistress Devine will then masterfully curate and powerfully execute.

One of the questions I am asked most often is: "Who are your clients, and what do they usually book in for?" The answer is that there is no typical Sabine client and no one reason to spend time with me. Some people I meet once as they pass through Wellington while travelling. Other clients live here and enjoy spending time with me regularly.

When people think about Wellington, they often think about coffee, wind, politics, and perhaps the occasional earthquake. They're not wrong. But for me, Wellington is one of the most sensual cities in New Zealand. Not because it is glamorous or extravagant, but because it rewards people who slow down enough to notice it.

Many couples spend hours planning holidays, researching restaurants, choosing wine, setting the table for friends. Yet when it comes to intimacy, we often expect desire to appear on demand between work emails, sports practice, dishes, and tomorrow's to-do list. Then we wonder where the spark went. Just remember, anticipation and a slow build up is one of the most underrated aphrodisiacs available to us.

There are certain words that become cultural shorthand. The word MILF is one of them. Depending on who you ask, it might feel empowering, ridiculous, flattering, dated, playful, or slightly cringe. Yet despite decades of use, the fantasy remains surprisingly persistent. What is it about the confident, sensual older woman that continues to capture people's imagination?

What do you think about the idea of creating a sensual experience rather than chasing an outcome? Many women discover pleasure through efficiency and end up using it for stress relief. But what if there was another way to explore that was less about achieving something and more about savouring the experience. What if, instead of asking, "How quickly can I get there?" you asked, "How deeply can I feel?"

Most men learn to pleasure themselves long before they learn much about pleasure itself. For years, self-pleasure can become a functional act rather than an exploratory one. The same hand, grip, pace, and outcome - fast, familiar, efficient. There is nothing particularly wrong with that but over time, some men become curious about what else might be possible.

If men and women were given a weekend retreat with unlimited coffee, plenty of play, and lots of well-timed honesty, I suspect we'd solve quite a few misunderstandings. Until then, here are ten things many women wish men knew. The first is that women often need more time. Not because they're complicated or difficult, but because women aren’t little men and their bodies and nervous systems take longer to settle into pleasure and arousal than popular culture would have us believe. Slow isn't a problem - in fact it’s a pathway to erotic delight. Read on…

Men and women spend a surprising amount of time trying to understand each other - sometimes successfully and sometimes not. Despite living, loving, dating, marrying and occasionally driving each other completely mad, there are still things many of us don't fully understand about the opposite sex. Over the years I've had countless conversations with men from all walks of life, and while every man is different, a few themes seem to appear again and again. Here are ten things many men wish women knew…

Some of the most common concerns I hear from women include: "I don't orgasm easily." "I can orgasm alone but not with a partner." "It takes me ages." "I don't think I've ever had one." Firstly, you're not broken. Secondly, you're certainly not alone. And thirdly, orgasm is only one part of pleasure. A very lovely part, perhaps, but not the whole story. Here are a few things to try.

Let's begin with something important - if you've struggled with erections or found yourself climaxing sooner than you'd like, you're not alone. It’s common! It’s just not often talked about, which can mean men quietly assume they are the only one. Stress, fatigue, age, health, relationship dynamics, anxiety, alcohol, medication, life pressure and simple human variability can all influence how our bodies respond.

Most of us have experienced tension building up in our bodies over the years. And it’s not isolated, it becomes a full-body strategy. The pelvic floor loves to join the party and so do our sphincters (the anus has two! * more below). Learning to soften and allow more mobility (letting go) can feel unfamiliar and might require a bit of practice… but it can create a lot of wellbeing benefits, including access to more pleasure.

If you've spent any time exploring the worlds of sexuality, embodiment or personal growth, you've probably come across the popular terms ‘yoni mapping’ or ‘lingam mapping’ - phrases that live in the neo-tantric world and to many sounds simultaneously fascinating and slightly ridiculous.