Ten things many women wish men knew
If men and women were given a weekend retreat with unlimited coffee, plenty of play, and lots of well-timed honesty, I suspect we'd solve quite a few misunderstandings. Until then, here are ten things many women wish men knew.
1. Women often need more time
Not because they're complicated or difficult, but because women aren’t little men and their bodies and nervous systems take longer to settle into pleasure and arousal than popular culture would have us believe. Slow isn't a problem - in fact it’s a pathway to erotic delight.
2. The brain is a powerful erotic organ
Stress, mental load, worry, relationship tension, and feeling rushed can all influence desire. For many women, what happens between the ears matters just as much as what happens between the sheets.
3. Most of the clitoris is invisible
The visible portion is just one part of a much larger structure. Women's bodies are astonishingly sophisticated and often far more complex than many people realise, and they’re wired for pleasure. Learning more about the intricacies of female anatomy and physiology is well worth your time. If you love a little research, you could explore OMGYes online or read Women’s Anatomy of Arousal by Sheri Winston.
4. Women want to feel safe to be themselves
Women just can’t always be perfect, agreeable, cheerful, constantly put together and compared with filtered images. If you want their juicy goodness to flow and flow, you must accept their interesting edges (and/or curves).
5. Anticipation matters
The message before the date, the lingering look, the hand on the small of the back, the sense of being wanted. For many women, anticipation is part of pleasure (try all day foreplay), not separate from it.
6. Women are not mind readers
Women love clear (honest) communication. It’s attractive and creates trust and way more potential for patience and pleasurable connections.
7. Women's bodies change
Hormones, stress, parenthood, age, and life all change a woman’s landscape. These things also build her resilience and make her interesting as hell. Her wisdom game, confidence, clarity, and charisma often sharpen year on year, and her body can feel delicious as it changes. Think fine wine and a lot more scope for depth of experience.
8. Many women struggle to receive
Receiving compliments, support, touch, pleasure can feel uncomfortable. Help women out! Giving often feels easier than receiving…but women need to strike a better balance.
9. Women are built for pleasure
The female body contains extraordinary capacity for pleasure, sensation and arousal. See number 3 for 2 useful resources ;)
10. Women want to be better understood, not managed
Advice is sometimes helpful but take the time to listen to a woman express herself will hold the potential to unlocking the doors to incredible intimacy tenfold.
A final thought
Perhaps the greatest relationship skill isn't communication (although it’s up there), but curiosity. The willingness to remain interested in another person long after we think we understand them. Because the truth is, none of us are nearly as simple as we appear and that's part of what makes human beings so endlessly fascinating and full or erotic potential.
Warmly,
Sabine x
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