10 things many Men wish women knew

Men and women spend a surprising amount of time trying to understand each other - sometimes successfully and sometimes not. Despite living, loving, dating, marrying and occasionally driving each other completely mad, there are still things many of us don't fully understand about the opposite sex. Over the years I've had countless conversations with men from all walks of life, and while every man is different, a few themes seem to appear again and again.

Here are ten things many men wish women knew…

1. Men feel anxiety too

Many men look calm on the outside while carrying a considerable amount of pressure internally - work, money, family, relationships, performance, responsibility. Confidence and anxiety often coexist more than people realise.

2. Men want to feel appreciated

Many men are taught to show love through actions like providing, fixing, helping, supporting, and being appreciated for those efforts often means more than they let on.

3. Men don't want to be reduced to stereotypes

Most men are not walking around thinking about dominance, status and conquest all day. Many are thoughtful, emotionally intelligent and deeply relational. The loudest voices on the internet rarely represent the majority.

4. Men love pleasing women

One of the biggest misconceptions is that men are primarily focused on themselves. In reality, many men derive enormous satisfaction from seeing a woman relaxed, happy and enjoying herself.

5. Men need emotional safety

Emotional safety is a human need. Men, like all humans, want to feel accepted, trusted and understood. They simply aren't always taught how to ask for it.

6. Men often carry performance pressure

Many men feel pressure to know what they're doing - to initiate, lead, be confident, and perform. But sometimes what looks like confidence is someone doing their best while feeling uncertain underneath.

7. Men want to feel desired

Men enjoy feeling wanted - not just tolerated. They love appreciation and they LOVE being desirable. Feeling chosen and pursued is something some men really want. The stereotype that only women need and want this is wildly inaccurate.

8. Men have tender hearts

Underneath all the armour, many men are quite sensitive and experience rejection, criticism and heartbreak just as deeply as anyone else.

9. Men don't always want solutions either

Sometimes men need someone to listen to them, to validate them, to understand their perspectives and sit beside them without being fixed or told to do better.

10. Men want to be seen for who they are

Not for what they earn, provide or how successful they are. They want to be seen for who they are as a human. Perhaps that's something we all have in common.

A final thought

The more I learn about relationships, the less interested I become in the differences between men and women and the more interested I become in our similarities.

Most people want to feel valued, safe, and loved. And most people are carrying far more than they show the world.

Warmly,
Sabine x

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