Do I want my what massaged?
Let's begin this one with an observation. We have a surprising number of sayings involving the anus.
Pain in the arse.
Anally retentive.
Tight arse.
Don't be an asshole.
Clearly, we've all agreed this part of the body is carrying something and worthy of attention.
The body's holding patterns
Most of us have experienced tension building up in our bodies over the years. And it’s not isolated, it becomes a full-body strategy. The pelvic floor loves to join the party and so do our sphincters (the anus has two! * more below). Learning to soften and allow more mobility (letting go) can feel unfamiliar and might require a bit of practice… but it can create a lot of wellbeing benefits, including access to more pleasure.
However, a lot of people have told me that talking about anal pleasure sits somewhere between embarrassment, mystery, and avoidance. Which is a shame. Because from both a physiological and pleasure perspective, there is far more happening here than many people realise. The area contains a rich network of nerve endings and is closely connected to the muscles of the pelvic floor. And like the jaw, shoulders and hips, it can become a place where we unconsciously hold tension. When stressed, anxious or bracing against life, we’re often tightening our pelvic floors and anal sphincters.
*The outer sphincter is under conscious control, but the inner sphincter is made of smooth muscle and responds to your nervous system. It tends to relax when your body feels safe, calm, and aroused - which is one reason trust and relaxation matter so much in intimate experiences.
The nervous system connection
We spend a lot of energy talking about and trying to relax our minds (and a little energy attempting to), but often forget about our bodies. And if we remember and book in for a regular relaxation massage, a rosebud or prostate massage certainly isn’t on the cards.
However, people who receive rosebud massage, prostate massage, or some well-timed and considered anal attention, during a sensual massage often comment on how relaxing it feels. When approached slowly and respectfully, paying attention to this area that habitually hold tension (and is highly innervated and erogenous) can encourage the nervous system to shift out of vigilance and into greater ease.
Sensual massage for nervous system relaxation AND pleasure
The anus is richly supplied with sensory nerve endings and many people discover during a sensual massage (always after prior agreement) that anal touch is a source of comfort, relaxation, sensuality, and even erotic pleasure.
For some people, anal massage is an entirely natural part of a sensual massage. For others, it challenges long-held assumptions. However, when explored slowly, with protective gloves and a good amount lubrication, and regular check ins, it can (I have been told multiple times) be life changing. Whether your interest is relaxation, pelvic health, self-awareness, pleasure or simply learning something new, curiosity is a perfectly reasonable place to begin.
A final thought
Not everyone finds anal touch pleasurable, and that’s completely normal. For those who find (or think they might) it pleasurable, relaxation, communication, consent, lubrication, and going slowly are essential for comfort and saftey. Pleasure can range from subtly sensual to intensely erotic - depending on the person and the situation. Interestingly, the anus develops from the same embryological tissue as parts of the genitals, which may explain why it can be experiences as erotic.
Warmly,
Sabine x
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